The Best Baseball Movie Team Ever (Part 2: Pitchers)

With the Major League Baseball season underway, this seemed like a perfect time to put together the greatest baseball team in cinema history. Before I start, I must say that this has nothing to do with the quality of the movie or the actor. We are solely looking for the best possible player to fit the team. Also, since this is a movie team, TV players like Kenny Powers, are sadly not available. Yesterday we unveiled the position players, now let’s get to the pitching staff and manager.

Starting Rotation:

Steve Nebraska (The Scout)
Is he crazy? Absolutely. But that doesn’t mean a thing when Steve Nebraska is on the mound. Making his Major League debut in game one of the World Series, Nebraska struck out 27 batters in 81 pitches for the most perfect game imaginable. Throw in the fact that he can hit the ball out of the park from both sides of the plate, and he’s the definition of an ace.

Billy Chapel (For Love of the Game)
Sure he’s an older veteran, but to throwing a perfect game in his last start is enough to put him second in the rotation. The only other issue his that he might not always have his attention on baseball. However for 19 years, he was as good and as dependable as they come.

Chet Steadman (Rookie of the Year)
‘The Rocket’ fits in nicely as the third member o the rotation. He can’t heat his arm up every game, but when he does he can pitch against anybody. He also makes a great mentor to some of the young pitchers on the team. Just make sure you pitch from your “have to.”

Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh (Bull Durham)
Speaking of pitchers that need a mentor, Nuke is your classic Jekyll and Hyde pitcher. When he’s on, he’s unhittable. But when he’s off, you better hit the deck. Attitude problems and a lack of baseball smarts also hold him back. He sure can throw hard though.

Ed Harris (Major League)
The ultimate baseball lifer. Harris has been pitching so long he can barely get the ball to the plate. But thanks to soap, vaseline and snot, the ball won’t stop moving until it gets there. Age and experience make him a good fit for the last spot in the rotation.

Bullpen:

‘Wild Thing’ Ricky Vaughn – Closer (Major League)
Vaughn was always meant to be a starting pitcher, but like so many pitchers before him, he just never fully realized his potential in that role. In the ninth inning however, his terminator makes him untouchable. Anybody who has had success against him as a starter had a much different result in the ninth inning. Easy choice for closer.

Henry Rowengartner – Set-Up Man (Rookie of the Year)
Who would have thought that tightening the tendons a little in your shoulder could turn you into a pitching phenom. Rowengartner’s triple digit fastball and youthful exuberance help the Cubs win the World Series, but since he is always just one bad spill from losing his fastball, I can’t risk giving him the ninth inning.

The Duke – Set-Up Man (Major League)
Hard throwing, mean and ugly. What more do you want in a reliever? Hard nosed enough to throw at his own kid during a father/son game, The Duke is exactly who you would want in a late game situation. His only fault is not paying enough attention to baserunners, keeping him in a set-up role.

John ‘Blackout’ Gatling – Middle Relief (Little Big League)
Another mean hard throwing pitcher. You can never have enough power arms in your bullpen, so Gatling has a spot on this team. Just be careful how you pull him from a game. He hates two things. Being pulled, and fun.

Doc Windgate – Middle Relief (Major League: Back to the Minors)
With all the hard throwers on the team, we need a soft tosser to get the opposition off-balance. That’s where Windgate comes in. Doc can throw it slower than anyone, which will give him an edge with the rest of the staff throwing gas.

Miguel ‘Sugar’ Santos – Middle Relief (Sugar)
Sugar has plenty of raw talent. But it isn’t developed to be much more than a mop up guy. He’s also a headcase, so watch him to make sure he actually gets on the bus and shows up for games. If you keep him in check, he’s a quality pitcher.

Mel Clark – Long Man (Angels in the Outfield)
He ranks lower for all the help he got from angels, but he still had the guts to throw 160 pitches in a complete game win to grab a pennant for the Angels. If only he hadn’t smoked for years, Clark would be able to handle a bigger workload and make the rotation. He’ll have to settle for spot starting instead.

Manager:

Jake Taylor (Major League 2)
Looks like we found room for Jake after all. Lou Brown, Pop Fisher and all the others did great jobs getting less talented teams to overachieve and succeed. However Taylor is the only one to take a volatile team of stars and bring them together to win. Remember, Lou Brown led the Indians to the playoffs as underdogs, but they floundered with him as favorites. It wasn’t until Taylor took over that they came back around.

So that’s the team. The pitching staff is completely right-handed but they are all capable of getting righties and lefties out. The starters can all go deep into games and most of them throw absolute smoke. If there are any hole in the team I’ve put together I’m sure Jake Taylor will make it work.

Did I leave anybody off the roster? Think I just wasted two days of writing? Sound off in the comments below!

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