Since I’m a day late in recapping Monday Night Raw, why don’t we throw in some Extreme Rules talk as well (which I most likely would have done anyway, but I want you to think the recap was late for a reason).
So the contract signing that was supposed to happen in the beginning of the show didn’t happen because Brock Lesnar wasn’t in the building yet (more on that later), giving Edge (doing his best Jayson Werth impression) an opportunity to show off his acting chops and tell John Cena that he needs to go back to being the real John Cena and ordering Cena to beat Lesnar. Is Cena that different now than he was when he was winning his 10th title? Weren’t people telling him to wake up last year too (Piper? Kane?)? If there is so little to be done with Cena’s character that the only way to add drama is to have him be vanilla or depressed while aging “legends” call him out for no real reason, isn’t it time to make a change? A big part of Edge’s speech was about Cena not loving wrestling anymore. Is that what we’re supposed to believe? Is that why he lost to The Rock and Lord Tensai? At least we got Edge mentioning his expiring contract for some reason. Apparently WWE isn’t giving him Foley/Michaels money as an occasional cameo guy. Maybe it’s because he isn’t as liked as those two.
So Lesnar does finally show up Later, and good ol’ Josh Matthews gets the bitch of the year award. After Lesnar was one Minnesota Vikings joke from choking Josh out, Matthews utters his last words, “I was just trying to do my job,” which leads to Lesnar pushing him into a fence/table thing, rendering him unconscious or something. Basically Brock Lesnar killed Josh Matthews with a giant baking pan.
By the end of the show Lesnar actually makes it to the ring for the contract signing, only Cena doesn’t come out. Sneak attack right? Cena’s pumped right? All contract signings end with a fight, right? Guess again. Lesnar takes the opportunity to issue contract demands to John Laurinaitis (private jet, star billing blah blah blah) until Cena finally comes out, WITH A CHAIN AROUND HIS NECK! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! Apparently chains immediately get your edge back for you, and apparently you don’t event have to use it for it to happen. All he did was rap the chain around his hand, sign the contract and leave. Boy I sure am pumped for Extreme Rules.
Cena has to win right? I thought he had to beat the Rock, but if he doesn’t beat Lesnar then what is he even doing here? Maybe since it’s an Extreme Rules match (which only means the refs don’t have to look away), Cena can get hurt and go away to film a movie or something. The way things have been going, maybe he’ll lose to Lesnar clean, then come out the next night and get beat up by Batista next. I don’t like him, but he’s still the face of the organization.
Okay that’s way too much on what will be an okay match. Jericho took his “CM Drunk” angle to the next level by making him take a sobriety test in the ring (which is apparently legal) which he must pass or he forfeits the WWE Championship (okay I’m with ya) which would then go to Chris Jericho (uhhhh what?). Of course Punk passes because he’s straight edge but it seems that Jericho continuously presenting Punk with booze leads to probable cause for the police to do a sobriety test on a man who isn’t driving or acting rude to anyone. Whatever. Basically nothing happened and they finally wrestle on Sunday.
Lost in the shuffle of all that was a great Jericho/Kingston match (because that’s all Jericho ever faces) that ended with Jericho countering a springboard move with a codebreaker into the Walls of Jericho. It’s all about Punk/Jericho 2 though. I wouldn’t be surprised with Jericho pulling off the win to set the stage for a third a final match between the two at Over the Limit. For Jericho to come back and not beat anyone but Kofi Kingston for four months just doesn’t add up to me. On the other hand everything leading up to Sunday would tell you Punk will win and someone else has to challenge the title eventually. Like always I just want to match to be in the ring as much as possible where they can put on what will most likely be the highlight of the night.
The only thing that can top it is Bryan vs Sheamus. The Bryan character is so over the top that it’s incredible. Sheamus, meanwhile, is as babyface as it gets. Boring as hell. They are also so different in the ring that it could be really good. They only teased it at WrestleMania so it better be. It goes against conventional wrestling thinking (if there could be such a thing) to think that Bryan would win after having al this heel momentum leading in, but after WrestleMania wouldn’t this be the way to make it up to him? “Throw us a bone at Mania at we’ll pay you back with a big moment at the next PPV.” He was lacking a legit defining moment as champ. Could this be his time to shine? How will AJ fit into this? I’m still waiting for his ring talent to fully impress me, but his character needs to have the title. The WWE Universe demands it!
The rest of Raw was just hype time for Sunday but I do need to note something about my favorite Prince turned Lord. During Tensai’s match against R-Truth they use one of my favorite in-match tactics from the 80’s, the cut in monologue. Check it out.
First off, I didn’t realize that Prince Albert forgot how to speak english. Second off how much of a throwback can he be? Green Mist? A “Mr. Fuji” like manager? He’s already a wrestler from my youth. I’m was already buying into Lord Tensai. Now he’s throwing in promos from the Mr. Perfect school of Wrestling? Count me in.
I’m still not sure if I’ll actually be watching Extreme Rules live, but whatever I checkout I’ll be sure to comment on Sunday night. Or not. Until next time wannabes!