Big Show/Cena, Punk/Bryan 2 Announced on Raw

Well it’s the day after another PPV which means it’s time for all of the storylines and matches to take shape. Since I was home to actually watch Raw as it happened, I figured I would take the opportunity to write this week’s recap along with the actual show. Let’s see how it goes.

Cena opened up to recap the PPV as usual. No hat throwing, or saluting the crowd. All business. Obviously he’s pissed about losing last night. Even more obviously, he wants to know why Big Show double-crossed him, but has to do it in a John Cena way. He also made a point to explain why he embarrassed Johnny instead of just beating him, and that he’d do it again if he could because that’s what he deserved. Sour grapes bro.

To keep these feuds moving Cena now has a bigger problem with Show than Johnny. He’s acting like he’s really angry with the whole thing, and it’s extra weird to hear Cena bitch and moan like it’s real. Cue John Laurinaitis, who comes out in a rascal and crutch because he’s all injured and junk. He states that now that he isn’t in any matches, if anyone touches him that person will be terminated.

“Insert movie quote here”

As expected, Johnny’s first act was to announce that the Big Show was rehired, and that he will face Cena at No Way Out confirmed. Heel turn, engaged. Show comes out to explain himself and basically says he did it because he didn’t get any sympathy from anyone. Ummm okay. All the fake WWE twitters were talking about it and Cena said he’d be hired back by whoever the next GM was (including the mystery GM). Not exactly the best reason for a heel turn but whatever. Now he’s mad at Cena for judging him or something and asking why he sold out. Off night for WWE creative.

This was followed by David Otunga coming out for a match against Cena. He dedicated the match to Laurinaitis and then got smacked around in about two minutes. Cena won with an STF and held on to send a message to Johnny. This got Curt Hawkins, Tyler Rex, Darren Young and Titus O’neill out to attack Cena. Looks like they are making up the brute squad for Johnny Ace (I guess Big Show is playing Andre the Giant’s part). Sheamus comes out to help Cena. He bumped Johnny on the way in, but I guess that isn’t enough to get fired.

To stick it to them for whatever it is they did wrong, Johnny is putting Cena and Sheamus in a 2 on 3 handicap lumberjack match. I’m not even sure what that means.

Santino strikes Ricardo Rodriguez so he can introduce Alberto Del Rio instead. Five minutes of slapstick later Del Rio comes out for his match against Randy Orton. But first, another commercial. So they came back from break to introduce Alberto Del Rio. Then they announced that the 1000th episode July 23rd, and it would be the beginning of regular 3 hour Raws. Yikes! How long will it take Del Rio to come out then?

Announcers tell us the winner of Orton/Del Rio would have to be the two front-runners for another title shot, and since they are fed all the info, we know it to be true.

I doubt I’m te first to say it, but Orton kinda has his own five moves of doom thing going with the 2 clotheslines into body slam, followed by the 2nd rope DDT and finally the RKO.

Well I guess I was wrong about Jericho being gone. He came out to give Orton 3 codebreakers and go on a rant about being the best in the world (considering he’s 0 for 5 in PPV’s that doesn’t hold much water but whatever). Looks like these two will get together at No Way Out. I’m just curious if that means we’ll see more of Jericho on SmackDown. I did not see that coming. By the way, what is it with Jericho’s outside the ring attire? Whenever he interferes in a match he’s wearing leather pants and no shirt. If he planned far enough ahead to take his shirt off, why not just come out in regular gear? If we expect it to be impromptu, then how about Jericho just leaves his shirt on to he doesn’t look like an exotic dancer? Am I asking too much of pro wrestling for the men to not look like strippers? I am? Well then let’s move on.

Daniel Bryan shows up to call out CM Punk about the finish to their match last night. Doesn’t exactly care that he was pinned 1-2-3. Only that Punk tapped after. Classic heel argument. I don’t know what is up with this Raw crowd, but they were booing Jericho and now they are booing Bryan.

YES?

Punk comes out, shows how Bryan hit Kane on SmackDown last week to set up Punk for a Kane beat down. Then he introduces Kane as Bryan’s opponent. Heel vs heel? Can’t wait!   After about 10 seconds and the tease of Punk commentary, Punk sets up Bryan to look like he was going to hit Kane with a chair again, and Kane goes medieval on Bryan. Not exactly a match, but pretty good stuff. Punk threw an anaconda vice on Bryan and got him to tap out. Message sent. We’re definitely having a submission match at No Way Out. This is gonna be awesome.

Backstage Punk ran into more crazy AJ nonsense after the break. It’s kind of like watching an improve class. She shows as many emotions as possible in the shortest amount of time possible. Punk said he “sorta digs crazy chicks.” The Punk/Bryan rematch could be getting all the story they lacked the first time around and then some.

New Intercontinental Champion Christian came out next to face Jinder Mahal. Would we finally get our first real match of the night? Turns out we will! Average match. The only stand out is Christian following up the kill switch with a frog splash off the top rope for the win. The kill switch could be out as a finisher.

Beth Phoenix beat the tar out of Kelly Kelly. There is so much spray tan smeared on the mat right now.

Time for that previously announced 2 on 3 lumberjack tag match. Turns out Cena and Sheamus will take on Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, and Lord Tensalbert. Of course all the lumberjacks are heels too. The most interesting thing to me is that there is no sign of the Miz. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Dogs and cats, living together, mass hysteria!

Tensai seems to have a big gash in the middle of his face. Orton had something similar during his match. Too weird a spot to have been blading (which is barely done anyway). Something weird going on. Of course the whole thing ends with the entire lumberjack crew going in the ring (no bell? somehow this is legal). All the faces (including Punk which is pretty interesting) came out to help out Cena and Sheamus. It’s not exactly the invasion angle, but we do have the makings of half the roster going against the other half on a regular basis. Cena went off to find Big Show who sucker punched Cena with the WMD to end the show. A lot of story lines were thrown out there at once tonight. We’ll see how much of it sticks. Overall not a bad show considering that it only had two matches have a real beginning and end. That’s one per hour if you aren’t a math major.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s