On November 5th 2012, my wife gave birth to our first child. During the pregnancy I decided that I would write about the experience. Every week since I have documented all of the events that took place throughout this time, along with my thoughts on them. Now that I can confirm that our baby is happy and healthy, I will share those thoughts with you.
Week 15 – Searching for the Unknown
On Memorial Day weekend we met up with a few friends for dinner. Among those friends included a fairly new couple. Of course we knew them already and were well aware of it, but even if we had never met before there was no denying they were in the early relationship stage. The hand holding, the constant contact, the degree that they listen to each other, and even the way that they are still slightly holding back so that they don’t scare the other one away. There is newness there.
That is not the case for me and Jess. When we’re together I have no problem passing gas, and she has no problem getting tomato sauce all over her face from a chicken parm. We’ve hung out with people who are just starting their relationships before and it always reminds me of when Jess and I started dating. How inseparable we were. How we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Suffice to say that after seven years the excitement isn’t exactly there. We still love each other of course, but I usually know exactly what she is going to do, and she knows exactly what I’ll do. The big surprises have already been discovered.
On the way home that night, I asked her if she missed the new couple smell. Being overly excited to see someone, the uncertainty of the next move, reaching to hold someones hand and being thrilled when they take it. While there are parts of it that she likes, she said she did not miss it. Along with that came the searching for that person. The paranoia and everything else that goes with dating. We’re not as gaga over each other as we may have been before, but we are still very affectionate. Truth be told, we still do hold hands a lot. I talk to her on the phone for most of my drive home every night. We still kiss and say I love you before we go to sleep, or even leave each other or get off the phone. We’re best friends and still make each other crack up laughing.
She then added something that I won’t soon forget. We may not be a new couple, but we are becoming new parents. That brings a whole new set of things to experience. Our priorities now run much deeper than where we’ll go to dinner on date night. All of those new relationship feelings will soon be very relatable toward our new child. First steps, first words, first time I teach my child something that sticks. There is a lot of new and a lot of surprises to come. Most of the time I had thought about things I would do as a dad or what she would do as a mom. Not enough time in my head had gone toward what we would do as parents. We’re both experiencing all of this together. Individuality is out the window. We’re a unit (courtesy Nicole and Shavonne, who have been referring to us as “The Unit” for years now). I’m having a baby with my best friend, and I’m betting nothing will feel stale for a long time (except diapers).