On November 5th 2012, my wife gave birth to our first child. During the pregnancy I decided that I would write about the experience. Every week since I have documented all of the events that took place throughout this time, along with my thoughts on them. Now that I can confirm that our baby is happy and healthy, I will share those thoughts with you.
Week 16 – The Four Different Reactions
In what seems like no time at all we are now four months into the pregnancy. In less than half a year there is going to be a new person in the world and it’ll be my fault. Pretty heavy stuff. Anyway in this time we have been able to hang out with all of our friends, and gotten all of their reactions. After four months (gulp) of sharing the news with everyone, I can pretty much put all of them into one of four categories.
The first group of friends are the ones that already have kids. These people have already been through the wars and can’t wait to get more people in the fold. Telling them you are having a baby is like telling a cult that you just bought kool-aid. The mothers automatically envision playdates with their kids and yours, and use this as an opportunity to explain how they raised their kids and why you should do things the same way they did. It’s all done in the passive aggressive, “This is the best way to do it, but you do what you want.” They also want to buy the most things for the child since they can’t do it for their own kids anymore and miss the excitement. The dads are just happy that there is one more guy guaranteed to be around at birthday parties to talk sports with.
Another group is the friends that are in couples and don’t have kids yet. These people are almost exactly where Jess and I were a year ago. They are almost ready for kids but don’t want to be the first of their friends to have one so we might as well be the starter pistol. They are by far the most inquisitive which is a shame because unknown to them, we don’t know what the hell we’re doing. It’s almost like they are keeping notes on everything we go through (kind of like what I’m doing now, they should read this). I assume that after the kid is born these will be the people who will want to be around the baby most, but will be too afraid to actually do anything.
Third are the people who see us having a kid as a sign of themselves getting older. They are happy for us of course, but they have known us for so long that to them our maturing into people who get married and want to buy a house and have kids is as much of a sign of time passing as anything else. These are usually the people who first ask if we did this on purpose or not. They also ask questions, but theirs seem more like things you would ask someone who lived in a different country. They want to know about the lifestyle that we are getting into, but they don’t want any part of it. At least none that they would admit.
The final group is mostly composed of our single friends that just want to know when Jess is able to drink and when we’ll be able to go out again. These are my favorite and I’m not prepared to tell them that we’re probably never going to be the same again. I sure will miss them.